The Me God Sees

Life is a funny thing. We think we're in control. Or we know we are overwhelmingly not in control. There doesn't seem to be an in between. I fall into the latter group. Sometimes that's a struggle. I tend to like control. I like having a plan, a list, clear guidelines. And in a way God gives us this in His Word. In other ways we are to surrender and let God work out His good and pleasing will for us without all of the facts or details. I'd always considered it a bad thing to not be in control. For many years I played tug of war with myself over this. An internal battle of what my flesh desired and what my spirit knew I needed to do. But I was never in control. God is. Always has been. At best I was just adding detours to His plan for me. Extra strife that I didn't need to endure. Instead of striving for control, I should have been striving for surrender. I'm thankful that through those detours God taught me valuable lessons. It is so true what i...

This blog has been up for three years now. I had such high hopes and such good intentions for it, I just never found my groove with it. And with each new year I hoped that would change. I skimmed back through my first post. The journey I was supposed to document here. Oh the optimism, the certainty. I don't think I accomplished a single goal from that detailed list. It's not the first year I fell short and it wasn't the last. But I think I've figured out why. Actually scratch that, God showed me why. For a few months now I've been walking in the mornings. It started on a random Thursday...so out of character for my type A personality self to not choose a well thought out begin date. I was just fed up. Fed up with hating my reflection in the mirror. Fed up waiting for things to go just how I wanted them too. Fed up with myself. I never could have fathomed the blessing it would be. My morning walk time hasn't just been exercise, it's a beautiful and...